Its been a while.....a long while.
I have to say that my running this year has been fucked up. A combination of sickness, back injury, neck injury and another rolled ankle and my life turning into a temporary emotional train wreck has really made this one of my worst years for running so far (I've only been running for 3 years) I have entered 6 events this year, and out of the 5 that have happened I have attended 0. there is one left, the Melbourne 1/2 marathon in October which I am in no way prepared to run but I am going to give it my best shot.
But I can change that, I have one thing back that has been also lost, my motivation to run. I feel like I need it now more than ever, after gaining so much from running and losing it again, I know how much better a person I can be once I get back running.
I have seen the light at the end of that tunnel though, my ankle has been cleared for some mild runs (strapped up to prevent rolling it again in its state of weakness) the weather is starting to get better, which always makes it easier to get out there and run.
Its a nice familiar feeling to want to be running, there is nothing worse than having an injury and seeing people out for a run, on a nice cool sunny day, it just emphasizes what you have lost due to injury.
I think part of my problem is a lack of discipline in my life. It takes discipline to get out there and run, to not eat crap, and to maintain motivation for change. Its easy to slip into a mode where exceptions are made from what you should be doing. You start to do the wrong thing occasionally and then it becomes regularly, and then its acceptable to do it all the time.
This lack of discipline and self control is one of the strengths I had, which I desperately need to get back....but that is achievable. I have broken the viscous cycle before and I will do it again.
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