I had a moment of clarity yesterday as I was catching my breath after a fast (25:28) 5k run at lunchtime.
I realised why I was so content with a sedentary life and how wrong I was.
Firstly It occurred to me that I was under the illusion I was in total control of my life.
"I can eat what I want"
"I choose not to exercise because I don't want to"
"exercise is for people not quite right in the head"
"I'm not lazy, instead I am more in control of what i choose to do"
These statements made me realize that what is missing from the life of the sedentary is self discipline. The statements I made to justify my laziness were all flawed. Eating what I wanted was basically disregarding what my body actually needs for what tastes good (and foods that have the larger marketing budget).
Choosing not to exercise is not a choice at all. It's a lack of commitment. When I started running I was out one Sunday and a large girl was walking her dog. She said to me "there is no way I could do that" I was annoyed at her comment...she could do it, I knew by that stage that if anyone chooses to run, they dan do it (as long as they train their body etc) but here was someone who had clearly enjoyed as much self indulgence in fast foods and full days laying on the couch watching movies as I had. The only difference is that I decided I could run, and she told herself she couldn't.
Living life had it's benefits I'm sure of that.....however the more I think about what they were the more I realize that it was all an illusion. If you lay on the couch for a day, do you fell more relaxed the next day? Because I could tell myself that I did, really though you would fell myth better for have spent your energy achieving something amazing.
On a certain route that I have run a few times now I get very depressed and angry at myself. The route takes me past KFC and the McDonalds. As the smell from KFC hits me I regret every mouthful of fat soaked overly processed crap that is marketed as food. I know that in some way I have an accumulated debt of crap food to pay back and I fully intend to get that debt paid off.
In summary have worked out that sedentary people live under the illusion of control and that in truth they will never experience control until they take it and apply it to self discipline. If you are starting running be prepared for a barrage of negative comments about running "it's bad for your knees, joints, little toe, hairs on your ankles" but be wary that these are other peoples reasons why they can't run, don't make them yours....take control and make yourself into the person you want to be... In my case a runner
Friday, October 29, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
Hot in the city
Yesterday at lunch time I ran an easy 5k. However it knocked me around because in no way was I prepared for how hot it was.
It probably was about 20 something degrees but it was enough to knock me around.
Usually after a run it takes 10-15 minutes to cool down but yesterday much to the concern of my colleagues it took about an hour.
Unfortunately when I walked back into the office it was time to go straight into a meeting where I sat sweating and stinking to high heaven for an hour.
One colleague commented after that he could smell me wafting from across the room to which I think he was taking the piss out of me but never mind.
Its good to work somewhere that I can run at lunch time. yesterdays events got me reflecting on when I started to run, and more importantly the person I was before.
Pre-running me used to spend the whole day angry, I would get in to work in the morning and read emails that would piss me off, I would have meetings with people that would piss me off and I would go home pissed off with the world.
Post running me has learned that everyone works differently. For example try going for a run with someone you know. There is a very minute chance that both of you will work at the same level, chances are one person needs to slow down so you can run together. This was one of the first things that I realized when we started to run at lunch time as a group. People would get scared that they would be left behind or have to leave behind the group.
To overcome this an invitation to run with the group was always accompanied with a disclaimer "we start together, we finish together but everyone runs at their own pace"
It was good to run with other people when I started as there is very few things as motivating to run as the feeling that you are letting someone else down. Now that I have run as much as I have, I have discovered that its a trap to rely on other people to motivate you to run.
Especially on the weekend. Getting out of bed at 6am on a cold Sunday morning to run a 21k training run is HARD. No one is waiting to meet you, no one is going to tell you to run. It all comes down to you to get your ass out there and put one foot in front of the other.
I guess the moral here is that tolerance only can be achieved once you realize that everyone will do things their own way. The less-angry me knows that people will work in their own way. The less-angry me needs to get rid of the adrenaline from other peoples "own way" of doing things and the best way to do this is to run at lunch time.
It probably was about 20 something degrees but it was enough to knock me around.
Usually after a run it takes 10-15 minutes to cool down but yesterday much to the concern of my colleagues it took about an hour.
Unfortunately when I walked back into the office it was time to go straight into a meeting where I sat sweating and stinking to high heaven for an hour.
One colleague commented after that he could smell me wafting from across the room to which I think he was taking the piss out of me but never mind.
Its good to work somewhere that I can run at lunch time. yesterdays events got me reflecting on when I started to run, and more importantly the person I was before.
Pre-running me used to spend the whole day angry, I would get in to work in the morning and read emails that would piss me off, I would have meetings with people that would piss me off and I would go home pissed off with the world.
Post running me has learned that everyone works differently. For example try going for a run with someone you know. There is a very minute chance that both of you will work at the same level, chances are one person needs to slow down so you can run together. This was one of the first things that I realized when we started to run at lunch time as a group. People would get scared that they would be left behind or have to leave behind the group.
To overcome this an invitation to run with the group was always accompanied with a disclaimer "we start together, we finish together but everyone runs at their own pace"
It was good to run with other people when I started as there is very few things as motivating to run as the feeling that you are letting someone else down. Now that I have run as much as I have, I have discovered that its a trap to rely on other people to motivate you to run.
Especially on the weekend. Getting out of bed at 6am on a cold Sunday morning to run a 21k training run is HARD. No one is waiting to meet you, no one is going to tell you to run. It all comes down to you to get your ass out there and put one foot in front of the other.
I guess the moral here is that tolerance only can be achieved once you realize that everyone will do things their own way. The less-angry me knows that people will work in their own way. The less-angry me needs to get rid of the adrenaline from other peoples "own way" of doing things and the best way to do this is to run at lunch time.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Running again
Wednesday last week I felt ready to run again, but I didn't, I waited and heeded the advice from everyone that I needed time to rest and recuperate.
Yesterday I ran a 10k in 1:47:00 which is not too bad a time (Considering the handicaps of My dog needing to wee, the traffic lights I had to stop at and the really nasty stitch that kept attacking me) but more importantly it felt good, really good. no pain, no niggling ankle issues.
I am ready to start my training regime in earnest again, and really start working hard to shave the hour off my marathon time.
ON the downside something is missing. A goal.
I need something to drive me to put foot in front of foot and run, and I think I have found exactly that.
The Marysville marathon is in about 3 weekends and I'm going to enter it. Yes another full marathon in 3 weeks time, now thats exactly the kind of insane goal I need to push through the postpartum depression of having completed the Melbourne marathon and not having anything on the horizon.
So its a 30k this weekend, a 10 or 20k the following weekend then another marathon.
Yesterday I ran a 10k in 1:47:00 which is not too bad a time (Considering the handicaps of My dog needing to wee, the traffic lights I had to stop at and the really nasty stitch that kept attacking me) but more importantly it felt good, really good. no pain, no niggling ankle issues.
I am ready to start my training regime in earnest again, and really start working hard to shave the hour off my marathon time.
ON the downside something is missing. A goal.
I need something to drive me to put foot in front of foot and run, and I think I have found exactly that.
The Marysville marathon is in about 3 weekends and I'm going to enter it. Yes another full marathon in 3 weeks time, now thats exactly the kind of insane goal I need to push through the postpartum depression of having completed the Melbourne marathon and not having anything on the horizon.
So its a 30k this weekend, a 10 or 20k the following weekend then another marathon.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Torn
It's been 4 days since the marathon.
I feel amazing no pain or stiffness left and I'm ready to run but.....
There is a voice inside my head telling me to hold off for a few more days.
I miss it so much. I need to sweat.. I need to hurt.. I need that time inside my head thinking of nothing but where my foot will land next....sigh...
I will wait until the weekend but there lies the next issue, how far should I run. My instinct says maybe. A 10-15k would be a good distance. But my determination says go for a 30k that's the path to 4 hour marathons.
In addition to this turmoil this week I've been on training. Which means catered morning tea and lunch and all the soft drink you can consume.
I have been strong. No donuts on Monday was the hardest. But the trap is not over eating on the lunch stuff.....gotta be careful.....gotta lose the belly that's haunted me for the last 15 or so years.
I feel amazing no pain or stiffness left and I'm ready to run but.....
There is a voice inside my head telling me to hold off for a few more days.
I miss it so much. I need to sweat.. I need to hurt.. I need that time inside my head thinking of nothing but where my foot will land next....sigh...
I will wait until the weekend but there lies the next issue, how far should I run. My instinct says maybe. A 10-15k would be a good distance. But my determination says go for a 30k that's the path to 4 hour marathons.
In addition to this turmoil this week I've been on training. Which means catered morning tea and lunch and all the soft drink you can consume.
I have been strong. No donuts on Monday was the hardest. But the trap is not over eating on the lunch stuff.....gotta be careful.....gotta lose the belly that's haunted me for the last 15 or so years.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Post marathon musings
So I did it. I ran for 5 hours and 8 minutes to complete my first marathon.
The person that woke up this morning was indeed different. Although not changed in the ways I had expected. The marathon left me hungry to do better, sort my diet out, train harder and faster than ever before.
"They" say there are 2 responses from runners who have completed their first marathon
1) when is the next one.
2) why the he'll would anyone want to do that more than once.
I fall well and truly into category 1.
Anyway here is a blow by blow account of what I can remember
Start line - OMG there are a lot of crazy people in one place
3ks in - I think the girl who just said out loud that there is only 39k to go is about to be lynched.
9ks in - the two women listening to music and trying to have a conversation about if they were going to have sex that night or not are talking so loud I think the whole field can hear them.
17ks in - wow I've managed to maintain an average of 6:30min k's but I'm starting to slow.
21ks in - I had a laugh at how proud the girl next to me was about making it half way. I didn't want to point out that from an effort perspective we were probably only a 1/4 of the way.
30ks in - sweet I'm running further than I ever have before.
36ks in - I can't run this hill. I walked and felt my phone ringing so I answered it. It was a fellow runner from work asking how I went. She got very angry when I told her I was still going 6ks out and was walking she verbally kicked my ass and at that point I committed mentally to run the rest of the way.
39ks in - I got a cramp on my left leg inner muscle just above the knee but I used the pain to push on. I had 3k to go so I ran through it.
42k in - as I entered the MCG one of the volunteers told me it was into the G and across the finish line. Talk about cruel, it's into the G do a lap and across the line but anyway at this stage I was feeling good, almost crying but holding it together.
42.195ks - I saw Sarah, Ben and Grace and they were going nuts. I lost it cried I was so happy to have made them proud. I did it I showed my kids that daddy has seen unlimited benefit from hard work and self discipline.
My hopes when I started running was that my kids would be inspired to be active. I can now say that it's working. Ben was very sad that he is too little to run races with daddy. The time will come when we are running together but in the mean time I need to find a way to shave about an hour off my marathon time.
The person that woke up this morning was indeed different. Although not changed in the ways I had expected. The marathon left me hungry to do better, sort my diet out, train harder and faster than ever before.
"They" say there are 2 responses from runners who have completed their first marathon
1) when is the next one.
2) why the he'll would anyone want to do that more than once.
I fall well and truly into category 1.
Anyway here is a blow by blow account of what I can remember
Start line - OMG there are a lot of crazy people in one place
3ks in - I think the girl who just said out loud that there is only 39k to go is about to be lynched.
9ks in - the two women listening to music and trying to have a conversation about if they were going to have sex that night or not are talking so loud I think the whole field can hear them.
17ks in - wow I've managed to maintain an average of 6:30min k's but I'm starting to slow.
21ks in - I had a laugh at how proud the girl next to me was about making it half way. I didn't want to point out that from an effort perspective we were probably only a 1/4 of the way.
30ks in - sweet I'm running further than I ever have before.
36ks in - I can't run this hill. I walked and felt my phone ringing so I answered it. It was a fellow runner from work asking how I went. She got very angry when I told her I was still going 6ks out and was walking she verbally kicked my ass and at that point I committed mentally to run the rest of the way.
39ks in - I got a cramp on my left leg inner muscle just above the knee but I used the pain to push on. I had 3k to go so I ran through it.
42k in - as I entered the MCG one of the volunteers told me it was into the G and across the finish line. Talk about cruel, it's into the G do a lap and across the line but anyway at this stage I was feeling good, almost crying but holding it together.
42.195ks - I saw Sarah, Ben and Grace and they were going nuts. I lost it cried I was so happy to have made them proud. I did it I showed my kids that daddy has seen unlimited benefit from hard work and self discipline.
My hopes when I started running was that my kids would be inspired to be active. I can now say that it's working. Ben was very sad that he is too little to run races with daddy. The time will come when we are running together but in the mean time I need to find a way to shave about an hour off my marathon time.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
As the sun sets....
As the sun sets tonight I say good bye to the person I was.
By this time tomorrow I will have run my first marathon. I will be sore, I will be tired but one way or another I will have covered the 42.195k that makes up an certified marathon course.
I think my Dear Wife has been better able to foresee how much of a pivotal life changing moment this really is for me. I have thus far focused on training, hydration, fuel, clothing and dealing with things like cramps. But she has been able to see that the impact to my psyche is going to far outlast the impact to my body.
So as the sun sets I say goodbye to the slob turned runner, and tomorrow I embrace the runner turned marathoner.
I guess in the next couple of days I will learn what the hell that really means.
By this time tomorrow I will have run my first marathon. I will be sore, I will be tired but one way or another I will have covered the 42.195k that makes up an certified marathon course.
I think my Dear Wife has been better able to foresee how much of a pivotal life changing moment this really is for me. I have thus far focused on training, hydration, fuel, clothing and dealing with things like cramps. But she has been able to see that the impact to my psyche is going to far outlast the impact to my body.
So as the sun sets I say goodbye to the slob turned runner, and tomorrow I embrace the runner turned marathoner.
I guess in the next couple of days I will learn what the hell that really means.
Friday, October 8, 2010
2 More Sleeps
2 More sleeps....thats it..1 Day 22 hours to go until I start to run, and keep running for as long as my body can hold out.
I have decided at this late stage on a slightly different tactic to the race. I have decided that I can run the whole distance.......the whole way 42.195k.
This is not my goal, my goal is to cover the distance running, run/walking, crawling or dragging myself by my arms.
However I think I'm short changing myself by trying to run at least 30-35k when I should be trying to run 42.195k
I have been asked if I am ready. I think only a fool or someone who has run 100 marathons would be able to confidently say that they are ready, but as this is my first time I have no bloody idea if I'm ready or not.
Someone said this morning "have fun, its a fun run after all" my response was 5k, 10k even 15k is a fun run. 21 or 42 is a serious distance, but serious can be fun.
- I have my Gels ready (one every 8k whether I feel like I need it or not)
- I have decided to drink at every second water station (they are at about every 3k)
- I know what I'm going to wear (Skins, Thorlo socks, My trusty Asics Kayanos, My new shorts, Under armor compression top and my Nike run top)
I have decided at this late stage on a slightly different tactic to the race. I have decided that I can run the whole distance.......the whole way 42.195k.
This is not my goal, my goal is to cover the distance running, run/walking, crawling or dragging myself by my arms.
However I think I'm short changing myself by trying to run at least 30-35k when I should be trying to run 42.195k
I have been asked if I am ready. I think only a fool or someone who has run 100 marathons would be able to confidently say that they are ready, but as this is my first time I have no bloody idea if I'm ready or not.
Someone said this morning "have fun, its a fun run after all" my response was 5k, 10k even 15k is a fun run. 21 or 42 is a serious distance, but serious can be fun.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Crunch Time
I got an email from my running idol this morning and the first line was "Well Daniel Its Crunch time"
He then went on to discuss his recent success in ultra marathons and point out that this is the first step to something bigger.
The idea of ultra's has always appealed to me. I mean how awesome it would be to run in state of total exhaustion for a whole weekend to have covered off 100km.
This overly introspective week had me thinking of what my next challenges will be, and also reflecting on the fact yet again that a little over a year ago I ran my first 5k. In less than 5 days I will be running my first 42K.
So what is next. There is the BRW triathlon in Feb which I have registered my interest with. There are countless 5 & 10k events over the next few months, and then any number of marathons domestically and in NZ that I would like to do.
Realistically I think its time to get serious and really committed to discovering what my body can do. I think it will be a case of focus on the swimming and cycling to get prepared for the BRW, and to let my ankle finish healing, and really work hard to become generally fitter, rather than just run fit.
It is crunch time, and as the non-runners say "I can do it" but that doesn't stop the echoes of doubt bouncing around my head almost constantly, and it certainly doesn't help me sleep at night as I found last night.
He then went on to discuss his recent success in ultra marathons and point out that this is the first step to something bigger.
The idea of ultra's has always appealed to me. I mean how awesome it would be to run in state of total exhaustion for a whole weekend to have covered off 100km.
This overly introspective week had me thinking of what my next challenges will be, and also reflecting on the fact yet again that a little over a year ago I ran my first 5k. In less than 5 days I will be running my first 42K.
So what is next. There is the BRW triathlon in Feb which I have registered my interest with. There are countless 5 & 10k events over the next few months, and then any number of marathons domestically and in NZ that I would like to do.
Realistically I think its time to get serious and really committed to discovering what my body can do. I think it will be a case of focus on the swimming and cycling to get prepared for the BRW, and to let my ankle finish healing, and really work hard to become generally fitter, rather than just run fit.
It is crunch time, and as the non-runners say "I can do it" but that doesn't stop the echoes of doubt bouncing around my head almost constantly, and it certainly doesn't help me sleep at night as I found last night.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
4 Days 22 Hours
The ticking clock on the Melbourne marathon page says I have 4 days and 22 hours left to endure before the start of the race.
The tapering period has a surreal calm before the storm feel that has me looking inward with intensity I'm not familiar with.
Why the hell would anyone want to set a challenge like running a marathon, I mean really....I know Monday I will understand this better but at the moment, its like saying I'm going to swim so far I drown. I know I will hit the wall during the marathon and it concerns me that I am not equipped to deal with this mentally.
This challenge has been of concern for me for some time and knowing that its coming has me a little worried.
Its funny how people react when you tell them you are running a marathon. There seems to be 2 responses:
1. Ahhh you will be right you do lots of running yeah?
2. Whats your hydration/fuel/starting/pace strategy
No points for guessing which group of people which response comes from. Its amazing how easily non-runners will talk down running 42.195Km like its something that anyone could easily do. But then again I guess its just the socially acceptable response to something that someone doesn't really understand. Strangely enough its got all the hallmarks of the hollow support I got when studying for my Industry certification exams.
Anyway I'm grateful that my friends have noticed that I'm borderline basket case this week.
4 Days and 22 hours to go.....then the suffering really starts.
The tapering period has a surreal calm before the storm feel that has me looking inward with intensity I'm not familiar with.
Why the hell would anyone want to set a challenge like running a marathon, I mean really....I know Monday I will understand this better but at the moment, its like saying I'm going to swim so far I drown. I know I will hit the wall during the marathon and it concerns me that I am not equipped to deal with this mentally.
This challenge has been of concern for me for some time and knowing that its coming has me a little worried.
Its funny how people react when you tell them you are running a marathon. There seems to be 2 responses:
1. Ahhh you will be right you do lots of running yeah?
2. Whats your hydration/fuel/starting/pace strategy
No points for guessing which group of people which response comes from. Its amazing how easily non-runners will talk down running 42.195Km like its something that anyone could easily do. But then again I guess its just the socially acceptable response to something that someone doesn't really understand. Strangely enough its got all the hallmarks of the hollow support I got when studying for my Industry certification exams.
Anyway I'm grateful that my friends have noticed that I'm borderline basket case this week.
4 Days and 22 hours to go.....then the suffering really starts.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Why would someone run
When you start to run, its almost a certainty that if you discuss your new found obsession ( it may not appear as an obsession until later) with someone who is not a runner they will list for you the reasons not to run.
Generally they are:
- Its bad for your knees
- You will get shin splints
- Its not good for you at all
etc etc the list goes on, And even worse I have actually seen an article in mens health stating that men attempting a marathon increase their risk of cardiac arrest during the event....
So why would anyone want to run. IN short peoples reasons for not running are more to do with the excuses they have told themselves are good enough to stop them getting out the door and less to do with medical certainty.
There are lots of reasons after a run for someone to think "never again"
- Muscle Soreness
- Blisters
- Aches
- Injury (such as my rolled ankle)
But there are always and I mean ALWAYS more reasons to run
- Runners High (Not always but when you get it, its amazing)
- The calm of endorphin drunkenness
- Having achieved something that anyone can do, but not many people decide to not bother
- Knowing you got off your ass and got out there to the amazement of the rest of the world.
- Knowing you decided to do something that a very small percentage of the population decided to do.
For me the decision is easy. Its about self discipline. If you cant force yourself to get out there and run, no one else is going to do it. I have always resented people trying to make me do whats best for me, but running is whats best for me, and the motivation to keep running is something as natural as breathing.
Generally they are:
- Its bad for your knees
- You will get shin splints
- Its not good for you at all
etc etc the list goes on, And even worse I have actually seen an article in mens health stating that men attempting a marathon increase their risk of cardiac arrest during the event....
So why would anyone want to run. IN short peoples reasons for not running are more to do with the excuses they have told themselves are good enough to stop them getting out the door and less to do with medical certainty.
There are lots of reasons after a run for someone to think "never again"
- Muscle Soreness
- Blisters
- Aches
- Injury (such as my rolled ankle)
But there are always and I mean ALWAYS more reasons to run
- Runners High (Not always but when you get it, its amazing)
- The calm of endorphin drunkenness
- Having achieved something that anyone can do, but not many people decide to not bother
- Knowing you got off your ass and got out there to the amazement of the rest of the world.
- Knowing you decided to do something that a very small percentage of the population decided to do.
For me the decision is easy. Its about self discipline. If you cant force yourself to get out there and run, no one else is going to do it. I have always resented people trying to make me do whats best for me, but running is whats best for me, and the motivation to keep running is something as natural as breathing.
6 Days out
For the first time in my life I am shitting my pants about something in ways I never expected.
1 year ago I started running because I wanted to be able to run. When I made that decision I didn't realise what that actually meant.
In 6 days I will be running the Melbourne marathon, 42.195Km it was a little over a year ago that I ran my first event and first 5k run (the Yarra valley grape run).
If you feel out of control, or believe deep down that you don't really know yourself, then my advise is run you will discover that you can achieve things that seem impossible to the casual observer, but everyone is capable of.
So after 1 year of preparation why am I nervous. Because I know I have to do this, its the culmination of every step that I have taken, every drop of sweat that I have dripped, the blood thats been shed and the pain thats been a constant reminder that if I don't to this I would not be the parent that I am, the husband I am, and even the employee that I am. I would be the person I used to be, and I'm not so sure I like him much anymore.
Some of the advice I have been given for the race day:
- Eat the marathon 1 step at a time - Check (This is how I run)
- Have a Hydration and Fuel plan - Check (gels every 8k seems to be the current plan)
- You can do it - Check (I can do it, how long it takes doesn't matter)
1 year ago I started running because I wanted to be able to run. When I made that decision I didn't realise what that actually meant.
In 6 days I will be running the Melbourne marathon, 42.195Km it was a little over a year ago that I ran my first event and first 5k run (the Yarra valley grape run).
If you feel out of control, or believe deep down that you don't really know yourself, then my advise is run you will discover that you can achieve things that seem impossible to the casual observer, but everyone is capable of.
So after 1 year of preparation why am I nervous. Because I know I have to do this, its the culmination of every step that I have taken, every drop of sweat that I have dripped, the blood thats been shed and the pain thats been a constant reminder that if I don't to this I would not be the parent that I am, the husband I am, and even the employee that I am. I would be the person I used to be, and I'm not so sure I like him much anymore.
Some of the advice I have been given for the race day:
- Eat the marathon 1 step at a time - Check (This is how I run)
- Have a Hydration and Fuel plan - Check (gels every 8k seems to be the current plan)
- You can do it - Check (I can do it, how long it takes doesn't matter)
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