Hard time to stay committed.

Its "that" time of year. The time when everyone has colds, its raining every time you want/need to run, and its a real challenge just to kick your own ass out the door.

Its so easy at the moment to not run.....its almost like I have more reasons not to run, than I have to run.

But I keep reminding myself, that I have omitted to running Melbourne marathon again this year and now I need to make sure I don't die doing it :)

So running in the rain and freezing cold wind yesterday I kept reminding myself "each time my foot hits the ground, its a step towards a successful marathon"

This was hard though because every time the dog looked at me (as much as she loves running) I felt like she was struggling to be out there as much as I was.

In the end we both had a good run. In the rain, in the cold....but at the end of the day I took another handful of steps towards Melbourne Marathon.

Its funny the way that challenges to being a runner, and living that life manifest themselves in the strangest ways.

For example travel for work....once upon a time, I would have packed work clothes and my laptop and been right to go. Now when I travel, its my garmin, runners, skins, shorts etc. I dont worry about if where I will be staying is nice, I look up google maps to see if there is anywhere to run around the place, and make sure that work doesn't get in the way of running in a new area.

Another good example, is food. Not the kind that I buy or choose to put in my mouth. Its the kind that sneaks up on you, and is half eaten before you realize what is going on. Another example is that at present, there is a BIG pack of tim tams in the kitchen...they literally have a sign on them that says "Please Eat" This is on a post it note, but to my eyes it may as well be on a billboard in letters the same height as I am. I know eating one or some of them is not good, I know I don't need them, and I know that I will feel bad for eating them if I succumb.....but it doesn't stop me staring at them like I have been walking across the desert for the last 2 weeks and they are a glass of ice water.....

In a discussion with a colleague the other day I was asked "how do you cope with stress" This was a general question but it stemmed from a discussion about parenting, husbanding and working etc....the answer is simple....I run.....

til next time


Daniel

How I see myself

THIS IS HOW I SEE MYSELF.

Of course, I'm quite convinced now that this is not what I look like....anymore. but I just cant shake the self image I have. It dosnt seem to matter what I achieve, or acomplish in running or life. 

For example. Saturday I ran a 1/2 marathon in the fastest time I have ever done. 1 Hour 59 Minutes and 44 seconds. Looking back at past posts I had 3 goals. 1) Sub 2 hour 1/2 marathon, 2) Sub 50 min 10k and to complete my second full marathon. This means that I achieved one of my goals last Saturday. On arriving home. my daughter had her running shoes on, and said with the cutest possible look on her little face "Daddy take me running" So off to the park for a quick jog with her we all went....It was very cute, and I in no way want to dampen the fires of enthusiasm my children are harboring for running.

Sunday, Mothers day, and more important the family run, which is all my son has talked about for weeks. 4k's round the tan, with the push chair for when the kids little legs need some help....no worries. Now my training of late, has involved a 10k run during lunch time at work twice a week, and then a longer run on the weekends (puffing billy, Run for the kids etc) so a 4k is not really anything for me to get worried about.,....well...let me say the anderson st hill, double push chair, and 25kg of kids strapped in....it had me working my ass off. But it was well worth it, we all finished the run as a family sweaty and proud of what we had done.

Then today, I was "needing" to run again. (more on this later) so 10k at lunch, it was cold, but dry, and I was on fire. It felt so good to be out there in the open, and at the end of the run, I had been running for an amazing 51 minutes and 53 seconds. Now, after a couple of weeks of 10k runs, I would say my average time for 10k is 55 mins give or take. So to complete this about 3 minutes faster than I expected was an amazing achievement.

Thats 35k in the last 4 days and yet I still see myself as the above picture. If I attempted what i have just achieved looking like that I would be a) unable to walk. b) in a coma, and or c)very dead.

Last week was hard. I had puffing billy run on the Sunday, then a week of training. Training mentally is great. Physically it sucks the big one. I stand at my desk at work (which is a point of amusement for everyone that walks past me ;) so being stuck in a room where its not practical to do anything but sit on the second most un-ergonomic chairs I have ever seen really gets my annoyance factor up.

Second to this, my wife had arrangements/commitments on the nights that I would usually run...actually she had something on every night that week, so running at night was out. After the bastard hills of puffing billy I decided a week of non-running wouldn't be too bad anyway, bit of recovery and all that. By the Thursday the physical symptoms were very obvious.....I couldn't stand still. My leg was shaking with a nervous twitch, I was on edge, anxious and not coping at all with not running. I did something late in the week which maybe says a little about the kind of person I am. 

The course that I was on, had an exam associated with it, and I booked the exam for the Friday afternoon. This seemed like a really good idea at the time, it would be fresh in my mind and all good. What actually happened was that my non-running symptoms, combined with the non-running anxiety, and the OMFG I have an exam that if I fail would be throwing away $200 anxiety. I was a mess, on the way there I was sub consciously looking for any excuse to run, oh that light is green better run, oh the tram is not there, better run,,,,etc.

Anyway I passed the exam and all was well, but it would have been much better had I been able to leverage off the quiet calm of a post run mind.

so back to my original point. Run for the kids, puffing billy, my 1/2 marathon training run, mothers day classic, and my amazing 10k time today were done by this guy:

A runner, a dad. a husband, and a much healthier man than the butterball at the top of the post!

Daniel

In love...again

For the last few months I have been in a running rut...I guess if my glass was half full it would be called a maintenance period..but if my glass was half full I would have been powering along instead of wallowing in the rut.

I have been content with 5k training runs 3 times a week, but a few weeks ago I realized I am entered in 13,14 & 21k runs that I don't know if I have what it takes to run.

So I got off my butt, last week I ran 3 10k training runs, which was amazing psychologically and physically. I am happy I can cover the distances in the runs I'm entered in now, but my goals are slightly shifted.

I have decided I want to achieve average 5min30sec kilometers across all distances.

Getting off my ass can be accredited to a few things, firstly I had my massage therapist treat my ankle which after 2 treatments and several bruises is at about 90% of what it was pre rolling. Secondly I swam/rode/ran the family triathlon with 3 of my nephews this year, and I saw how my passion for running had impacted my nephews, on in particular is developing a very healthy passion for sport, which is something I wish I had as a teenager. To influence someone by my running makes it incredibly rewarding.

Secondly I was going through the scenario of where I would have been from a health perspective had I not turned my fitness around. Would I have diabetes yet, heart disease, would I be able to walk up a flight of stairs without dying. This put my achievement in a new light, all of a sudden I realized that I have managed to take one foot out of the grave and kick morbid obesity in the ass with it.

Lastly we got a new trampoline for the kids. This is a little odd but, I really like our new trampoline, it's big enough for me, and then kids just love time on there with me. I really want to be able to do a forward flip, and more importantly teach the kids to do tramp tricks. There is no was the fat old me could have done this, as by now without running I would be over the weight rating for the trampoline. Instead I'm doing flips, and jumps so the kids have a role model.

Running now feel like I am working towards something again, each step is a reward for changing my life, each step sends out a spiritual shockwave that hits my kids and pushes them towards an active life away from a sedentary one, it seems that the shockwave extended further than I first imagined, which makes running even more worth it.

I no longer run for myself, I run for my family, and for the feeling of being endorphin stoned :)

So I am in love with it all again, fitness, running, the new trampoline and especially the impact it all has on my family.

Applied learnings

I recently had to sit an exam for a work related industry certification I have been working on for about 3 years now.


This particular exam was my nemesis. I sat it for the first time about 2 years ago and failed. I then decided in a moment of stupidity to book and sit it the next day.


So how does this fit in my running blog?


I don't think I have ever experienced a pressure wave of anxiety like I did in the build up to this exam. Physically shaking and feeling nausea the night before. But I had a secret weapon, my learnings from running.


Prior to running in an event there are certain concerns that cross my mind like what if I can't cover the distance, what if I get an injury and have to bail out, and worst of all (and most consistently) what if I come dead last.


I would not say that I have ever really suffered anxiety issues, as I always try to be pragmatic when it comes to expectations. But on occasion we lose site of what we are capable as our sub-conscious tells us how we will fail...even though we are more than capable of success.


Recently I have been overwhelmed with the feeling that I am loosing touch with my inner runner. I don't feel like I am filled with passion for running any more, and that everything else seems to get in the way of training runs. 


When I step back and look at what is going on around me at the moment, it seems that my life is so full that running is getting squeezed out. I need to take stock and prioritize my activities to include running again, as the reduction in K's has resulted in an increase in stress related symptoms. I have started biting my lip again, I am getting sores on my scalp again, and I am getting pissed off at work a lot more than I have in a long time.


The longest run I have logged this yeah is 10K. I need to start bumping up my K's, I need to focus on my goals, and I need to get passionate again about running.


Its 8 months until Melbourne Marathon and I want to be ready, I want to succeed, I want my family to be proud of me.

Calm

After a 5k run the other day I realized that I had completed the whole run without thinking about anything. I think this means that I have successfully reduced the internal turmoil that has haunted me for the past 20 odd years.

Its an odd sensation not thinking, especially since my job is to think, over analyze and work trough issues to come up with solutions to complex problems, in some ways its almost like I make simple issues in my life complex because I am better at dealing with them that way,

I ran in the Melbourne sports summer sunset series Melbourne Zoo 8k run last Wednesday, and it was amazing. The run got me thinking about how most runners must experience a similar phenomenon when running, especially in a race.

In this case I drove there alone, as the race started at the kids bed time, so it wasn't going to work taking them to this one. I listened to music in the car, so there was constant noise, I didn't spend any time inside my head really, as it was also heavy traffic.

I was doing this one alone, no one I knew to meet up with or chat to while I waited, and given my need to be early for everything I had a fair amount of time to kill. I managed to secure a shady spot on the grass and just watched the people milling around, meeting up with friends, securing their kids while the registered or got their race packs, and generally preparing. It was during this time that I started to really reflect on the noise. 

There is constant chatter, some people get nervous and get chatty, some people are relaxed and chatty, and some are catching up with running colleagues and are chatty, not for me, I was silent, just observing.

The noise levels are magnified at the start line, as the nervous talkers anxiety levels bump up, the friends try to get in some last lines of conversation. The calm people tend to withdraw into them selves at this point, and you see them start to watch the chatters.

The siren sounds, and the runners are off. Everyone concentrates on their pace, not tripping and not running over the top of other people. 

For at least the first 100m there is only the sound of foot steps. This is such an odd time after so much noise, everything goes calm and quiet except for the thump thump thump of peoples feet.

This is a trap.

This is where people collectively form a rhythm and pace as a pack, instead of finding their own groove, and as a result its very easy to start too fast or too slow and upset your whole run.

At the start of a race its important to position yourself appropriately in relation to your expected time. Fast people forwards, slow people back, and walkers at the very back. This is really important and most event organizers realize this, but in the case of the Zoo run they kind of lost the plot. There was no marshaling, no advice for walkers to the rear, and they started the 4 & 8k events at the same time.

What happened was a mess. I put my self about 1/4 of the way from the start as this is usually a good place for me and it was a small field so it should have been fine. The issue with this is that being an event held around the zoo a lot of people planned to walk the 4k and do a spot of sight seeing, whereas several of us were there to run the 8k. 

The 4k walkers were way too far up the front, and a lot of us runners had to weave past them, on uneven ground around the outside of the zoo. What would have worked well would be, staggered starts 4k runners, 8k runners, walkers, but I guess they were trying to save blasts of the airhorn and avoid someone talking to the crowd.

At the end  of it all it was really cool to run around the zoo, past the gorilla enclosure was particularly rewarding, it got me wondering what it was like for them to see all the humans running past instead of stopping and staring.

My approach was to run all the way but I have to make comment about the dude taking photos. Clearly this guy was too tight to go to the zoo so instead he entered the race, got to the first animal stopped, took photos with his phone and then sprinted to the next animal and did the same. This was a pretty funny thing to see, and I hope for his sake he got some good pics.

A week (2x5k) off from running

I have been sick with a virus, and no its not a man cold like every female I know seems to tell me. 

Anyway what this means is that I have not run since last Sunday. Its odd how things like not running can effect you mentally. I feel this constant pulling in the back of my mind to get my shoes on and go for a run, but the last time my energy levels felt like this was, when I slept for 3 days a week after the marathon when I attempted a 10k too early.

I probably could have run last night but I'm scared that I will end up sicker if I push it too early.

Another upside of not running is that my ankle is feeling better than it has in a long time, its no where near as stiff in the mornings and it has regained a lot of its flexibility.

So I will run tonight, 5k and hopefully this will help to clear some of the snot out of my system, and help remove some of the anxiety that I have accumulated over the week.

Did I fail

I got up this morning intending to run. It's been so long since I have gone on a long run I decided after a week on holidays with the kids it would be a perfect chance to clear my head.

I also decided to take up a very kind offer of a ride from Woori Yallock (in the Yarra valley) back to mt.Evelyn. Which makes for a beautiful 15k run along the Warburton trail, which is an old disused train line running from Lilydale to Warburton.

This one of my favorite places to run. Gravel path, lots of bush and some open spaces, and long graded hills.

15k from Mt.Evelyn to Woori and I decided I would tack on an extra 3k out and back to make it a nice half marathon.

I started running at 11:30am and the outside temp according to the suby was 23deg. All was going well, I think subconsciously I had decided today was the day to nail the sub 2 hour 1/2 as I was watching the clock and working hard to stay under 5:30min/k. This all went well for about 5k, at which point the temp rose by about 5deg.

At 6k I was struggling to keep running but I pushed on.

At 7k there is a cafe which was tempting me to stop for a sports drink. 8

At 8k I stopped at a tap and soaked my self and filled my bottle.

From 8-10k I ran in the sun and walked in the shade, I could feel myself roasting, and my HR was going nuts, I decided that today was not a PB run, then I decided it wasn't going to be a 1/2 either, I would run the 15k.

As I reached the 10k mark I was running between shady bits and long sunny bits. At this stage I decided that it was silly to go on this way, it was simply too hot (for me) to be running. So I called my ride and he picked me up from the 10.38k mark.

When I returned the outside temp at the car was 31deg. It had risen 8deg while I was running, and it's really no wonder I was roasting.

Today's run left me asking however, did I fail or was this a smart thing to do given the circumstances.

I think after much contemplation that it wasn't a failure but a tactical retreat :)